A Games Passion!
by Josh Noland · in General Discussion · 06/14/2013 (10:26 pm) · 8 replies
Hey all,
Some of you are aware of me but not many as I am new here. I was handed some horrible news today two of my uncles (Twins) were both diagnosed with cancer. The first one beat both Lung and Brain Cancer only to find out during recovery his twin brother was diagnosed with stage 4 terminal lung cancer that has metastasized and entered his blood stream...
This has completely side lined me for a bit as i have to prepare for the worst and support my family. I will never quit on making a video game here with you guys EVER. But family comes first in times of tragedy such as this.
This community has taken me in, in a way that i am honored just to be here but i need a little time to get my head right for whats coming. No one ever plans on this kind of thing happening and to see it crush my father on a personal level has made me realize i need to be very human right now.
I will post again when i get back to work on my project.
Murk
Some of you are aware of me but not many as I am new here. I was handed some horrible news today two of my uncles (Twins) were both diagnosed with cancer. The first one beat both Lung and Brain Cancer only to find out during recovery his twin brother was diagnosed with stage 4 terminal lung cancer that has metastasized and entered his blood stream...
This has completely side lined me for a bit as i have to prepare for the worst and support my family. I will never quit on making a video game here with you guys EVER. But family comes first in times of tragedy such as this.
This community has taken me in, in a way that i am honored just to be here but i need a little time to get my head right for whats coming. No one ever plans on this kind of thing happening and to see it crush my father on a personal level has made me realize i need to be very human right now.
I will post again when i get back to work on my project.
Murk
About the author
I have worked with Source, Hero Engine, And now Torque 3D, i have 15 years of exp. with special effects, CGI, and game development. im dedicated and extremely motivated. Murk
#2
Changing careers at this age is tough - entry level positioning in your 40's is weird for everyone involved on a social level, and most of us have racked up bills that outstrip entry level salaries. These issues can make following your dreams later rather than now difficult - and as your uncles pointed out, there might not be a "later."
Which books? Because, though they address many common questions you will probably have to adapt the approach provided to the newer engines. They should point you in the right general direction, but only Finney's 3D Game Programming All-In-One has been updated since T3D came out as far as I know. And Dave Wyand's book is also up to date since it's actually brand new.
06/15/2013 (6:32 am)
That is good advice. I learned it at the age of 43; I had been in construction for almost 20 years because that's what I thought I should be doing - I knew it and had been doing it forever. One day I saw a job posting at GarageGames, a chance to work in games! I realized that I had spent my life doing something that I was good at but that I didn't love doing and I applied.Changing careers at this age is tough - entry level positioning in your 40's is weird for everyone involved on a social level, and most of us have racked up bills that outstrip entry level salaries. These issues can make following your dreams later rather than now difficult - and as your uncles pointed out, there might not be a "later."
Which books? Because, though they address many common questions you will probably have to adapt the approach provided to the newer engines. They should point you in the right general direction, but only Finney's 3D Game Programming All-In-One has been updated since T3D came out as far as I know. And Dave Wyand's book is also up to date since it's actually brand new.
#3
06/15/2013 (8:10 am)
I got the same creative kick from my Dad's death a few years ago, also from Cancer. However I would make time for breaks, exercise and sleep or you could quickly end up ill yourself. 
#5
06/15/2013 (2:26 pm)
I cannot motivate me to work that much, I only do something, when I have fun and motivation doing something, because I know that only then I will produce something useful. 
#6
u do surprise me a bit, especially after the family thing
that takes guts br0
ye with one thing you shouldnt play
you need at least 6hours sleep to function right
especially when working on something where your body is not really moving
and not just that - balance is the key to evrything
so instead of burning teh flame too fast
slow down
clear your head and emotions - do some physical training (jogging would be enough)
draw a whitepaper
ask yourself
what you really want and what is possible for you as a individual
and where will you need assitance
and how much time do you want to invest in it
as lets be honest you could draw a picture your whole life without
actually finishing it but
that is not the way its ment to be
about motivation
from my personal perspective
failure is my motivation
the more i fail
the more i try
the more i will learn
and there is my passion - to learn new things
06/15/2013 (6:26 pm)
heh what back on track Josh?u do surprise me a bit, especially after the family thing
that takes guts br0
ye with one thing you shouldnt play
you need at least 6hours sleep to function right
especially when working on something where your body is not really moving
and not just that - balance is the key to evrything
so instead of burning teh flame too fast
slow down
clear your head and emotions - do some physical training (jogging would be enough)
draw a whitepaper
ask yourself
what you really want and what is possible for you as a individual
and where will you need assitance
and how much time do you want to invest in it
as lets be honest you could draw a picture your whole life without
actually finishing it but
that is not the way its ment to be
about motivation
from my personal perspective
failure is my motivation
the more i fail
the more i try
the more i will learn
and there is my passion - to learn new things
#7
As with the other comments here, I have to agree that rushing headlong into a project just for the sake of showing that you are working is not the sensible thing to do. There's an army saying - "proper planning and preparation prevents (piss poor) performance". Go too hard and you'll burn out. Guaranteed. Take some time to enjoy the moments of inactivity and creative freedom. Your body will love you for it. Good luck with your project/s.
06/16/2013 (2:40 am)
My heart goes out to your uncles, Josh. But they understand something that most of us don't realise until its too late: We're all diagnosed with a terminal illness. Most of us just don't have a ballpark figure. Your uncles are facing what they always knew they would, and they want you to make the most of the time you have left (before you're just a memory). Take heart, your uncles are resigned to their fate (whatever that may be) and they want the best for you while you can enjoy it. As with the other comments here, I have to agree that rushing headlong into a project just for the sake of showing that you are working is not the sensible thing to do. There's an army saying - "proper planning and preparation prevents (piss poor) performance". Go too hard and you'll burn out. Guaranteed. Take some time to enjoy the moments of inactivity and creative freedom. Your body will love you for it. Good luck with your project/s.
#8
@ Richard I am glad you started to follow your heart and not your head that takes balls my friend. I have both Dave Wyand's Book & Finney's good to know I am right on track then.
@ BigDaz After writing this post I read the books and forum posts until my eyes felt like they were going to bleed for almost 40 hours straight, but that made me realize I am only human so I am slowing down a bit for health reasons.
@ Dwarf King I did realize my limit is actually 18 hours a day yesterday after that time frame my work starts to get sloppy. I will be taking the community's advice on this.
@ Duion I can relate to that now as well, got some bad times ahead of me messing with my focus atm.
@ Jolinar Failure to me is also motivation as well, yet with this project failure seems less of a issue its just time and research mainly. My patience level often gets me into trouble due to being too patient and too open about things. For the first time in a long time I realized focusing on one idea at a time will lead to the success and completion of it :)
@ Dan This plague of cancer hitting my family so hard not only increased my motivation it also made me realize something else too. I have never burned out on anything throughout my life, The thing that always makes me quit anything team based is comparing my work and time invested to the work of others on a project whatever the project is.
I am extremely critical of the combined efforts which made working alone in the first place make sense to me finally. I know I should not be so judgmental of others yet when things like %'s come into play I find it hard not to be. I really hate money in every aspect in this world, yet I find it to just be another driving force in the creation process a tool if you will that is part of a set.
@ all of you, Thanks guys for all the wisdom and heart felt replies. I would like to say one last thing about MOCAP and IPI's software I have discovered from research and hands on self teaching's it might help someone out down the road.
The IPI motion capture software works with both the PS3 EYE cam, and the xbox 360 kinect. If you are aware of this software make note of this. The PS3 EYE cam requires a 13 feet X 13 feet area with little to nothing in the scene and color coded clothing and its optimal usage is with 4 eye cams and a LOT of time invested to the correct setup.
However the Kinect does not require as much space and allows for more random things in the scene. So if you are considering low budget MOCAP and have limited space like working out of your home. The Kinect option is the better choice IMHO. I been tracking this for some time now and realized that low budget MOCAP is essential for a solo indie developer or a team of as few as 2 guys working in a FPS environment.
P.S. I am a very lucky man I do not have a real job and I choose to be poor so I can better follow my heart and understand what it is trying to tell me. My girl is the most wonderful person I have ever meant and if all goes well one day I will marry her for her deep rooted love for me and who I am.
Murk
06/17/2013 (8:25 pm)
Every time i check my posts I am amazed by this community's response.@ Richard I am glad you started to follow your heart and not your head that takes balls my friend. I have both Dave Wyand's Book & Finney's good to know I am right on track then.
@ BigDaz After writing this post I read the books and forum posts until my eyes felt like they were going to bleed for almost 40 hours straight, but that made me realize I am only human so I am slowing down a bit for health reasons.
@ Dwarf King I did realize my limit is actually 18 hours a day yesterday after that time frame my work starts to get sloppy. I will be taking the community's advice on this.
@ Duion I can relate to that now as well, got some bad times ahead of me messing with my focus atm.
@ Jolinar Failure to me is also motivation as well, yet with this project failure seems less of a issue its just time and research mainly. My patience level often gets me into trouble due to being too patient and too open about things. For the first time in a long time I realized focusing on one idea at a time will lead to the success and completion of it :)
@ Dan This plague of cancer hitting my family so hard not only increased my motivation it also made me realize something else too. I have never burned out on anything throughout my life, The thing that always makes me quit anything team based is comparing my work and time invested to the work of others on a project whatever the project is.
I am extremely critical of the combined efforts which made working alone in the first place make sense to me finally. I know I should not be so judgmental of others yet when things like %'s come into play I find it hard not to be. I really hate money in every aspect in this world, yet I find it to just be another driving force in the creation process a tool if you will that is part of a set.
@ all of you, Thanks guys for all the wisdom and heart felt replies. I would like to say one last thing about MOCAP and IPI's software I have discovered from research and hands on self teaching's it might help someone out down the road.
The IPI motion capture software works with both the PS3 EYE cam, and the xbox 360 kinect. If you are aware of this software make note of this. The PS3 EYE cam requires a 13 feet X 13 feet area with little to nothing in the scene and color coded clothing and its optimal usage is with 4 eye cams and a LOT of time invested to the correct setup.
However the Kinect does not require as much space and allows for more random things in the scene. So if you are considering low budget MOCAP and have limited space like working out of your home. The Kinect option is the better choice IMHO. I been tracking this for some time now and realized that low budget MOCAP is essential for a solo indie developer or a team of as few as 2 guys working in a FPS environment.
P.S. I am a very lucky man I do not have a real job and I choose to be poor so I can better follow my heart and understand what it is trying to tell me. My girl is the most wonderful person I have ever meant and if all goes well one day I will marry her for her deep rooted love for me and who I am.
Murk
Josh Noland
They told me working a regular job in this world is a huge waste of time and that "TIME" is a precious commodity squandered by most people in the pursuit of money, greed, and the need to just get by in this world. And that if I have dreams of my own of any kind I should follow them NOW and not later despite what is happening to them.
Its not everyday we get the insight from twins fighting cancer together.
So i will respect their wishes and work harder than i have ever worked before in my entire life on my own dream!
I am not going to quit, or fail, or take a break guys.. I am going to finish this with fire in my belly fueling my very soul to make the best game I can possibly make with T3D!
They bought me the books from past to current at the local book store which i also did not see coming, and just dropped them off to me awhile ago.
If that is not motivation I have no clue what is! Feel free to sit back and watch what the monster of game design I just became is about to unleash for this community... 12-16 hours a day was my former template not anymore 16-20 sounds better to me now...
P.S. I been flipping through the books since I started typing this, everything I did not want to scrub through forums to find is in them. Plain as day too i highly recommend tracking them all down to new members like myself.
Murk