GDC and the Mob
by Benjamin Bradley · 03/29/2005 (11:39 am) · 32 comments
Lots of image...wait for things to load.
Wow... Ok, I'm finally forcing myself to sit down and finish this .plan that has been in the works for a while. Ever since we got back from GDC, I've been trying to find some time to give all of you a behind the scenes look at GDC, but with the launch of DH: Lore Invasion, all sorts of press followup and Jay getting sick, I'm finally able to sit down, put my headphones on and pound this .plan out.
So what's it like to attend GDC?
Step #1
Create an great booth that two or three guys could easily carry onto the showroom floor and assemble in under an hour.
Step #2
Wait on the Showroom floor as the MAFIA forces you to drive your vehicle to a dockyard, wait for a number, wait to be told where to go, drive to the convention center, wait for MAFIA personnel to unload your vehicle, wait for the MAFIA to bring your boxes up the elevator, wait even longer and wait even longer.
Start setting up your booth VERY SLOWLY so as not to arouse the lions within the MAFIA. The thought behind this is if you don't look like you are doing anything, they leave you alone.
Step #4
Realize that the MAFIA knows all things and you cannot fool them. Get yelled at by one of the "hitman" MAFIA guys, because of our working. "ONLY LICENCED AND PROFESSIONAL MAFIA PERSONS CAN BUILD YOUR BOOTH!!!!"
Step #5
Wait for a "professional" MAFIA person to be found so that our booth can be constructed.
Step #6
Realize that there is no such thing as a "professional" MAFIA person when it comes to tradeshows and welcome into your booth space some guy who will contstruct your booth.
Step #7
Marvel at the skill of this MAFIA "professional" who is able to move with the grace and speed of a slug.
Step #8
Watch in wonderment after the MAFIA "professional" decides that he needs to take his 45 minute break after working for less than 30 minutes.
Step #9
Walk around and look at the setup for the Independent Games Festival, in which Large Animal with Rocketbowl, Chronic Logic with GISH and Max Gaming with DH: Lore Invasion are all participating.
Come back to booth and wait for your own personal MAFIA "professional" to get back from break and finish constructing your booth.
Step #11
Step back and stare in absolute amazement as the MAFIA "professional" gets confused and constructs your banner stands backwards.
Step #12
Sit down and relax, because the MAFIA "professional" has finally finished and left your booth space.
Step #13
Begin setting up computers, monitors, GG Buttons and making the booth ready for the show.
SURVIVE THE SHOW
Step #15
On the last day of the show, quickly break down the entire booth in less than 10 minutes so that the "professional" MAFIA hitmen cannot yell at you.
Step #16
Wait for hours as you wait for the MAFIA to take all your boxes back down the elevator to the loading docs.
Step #17
Be VERY bold and park your tiny mini-van in front of huge moving trucks so that the truck drivers yell at the MAFIA "professionals" to get you your boxes so that we could move our minivan.
Step #18
Pick your mouth off the ground as you stare at the pallet of boxes that the MAFIA "professionals" bring you and realize that the pallet is bigger than your minivan.
Step #19
SMOOSH everything into the minivan. Ducktap things to the roof and make sure there is enough room so that four people can sit in the space made for two.
Drive through the night while watching Jay snore and shout wierd phrases out at odd times. "Fog.....Aarrrgghh.....Fog.....Crossdresser.....Fog". Brrraaaiiinnnsss.
"WHAT!!!..... Are you crazy???I'm Ben Garney.... I'm the technology guy."
"And this is how I dance like the Orc....."
"Hi...I'm Ben...and I like ponies...."
"...and the crowds began to gather at the sound of his voice..."
Josh can belt out a tune...see Jay's enjoying Josh's audition for American Idol.
Getting the GDC booth and computers up and running... look at the sweet Apple 30" Cinema Displays.
The yoga master himself demonstrating his Marble Mastery
The crowds love GarageGames
"Yes, I'm Tim Aste and I like to color..."
Wow... Ok, I'm finally forcing myself to sit down and finish this .plan that has been in the works for a while. Ever since we got back from GDC, I've been trying to find some time to give all of you a behind the scenes look at GDC, but with the launch of DH: Lore Invasion, all sorts of press followup and Jay getting sick, I'm finally able to sit down, put my headphones on and pound this .plan out.
GDC, San Francisco and the Mafia
So what's it like to attend GDC?
Step #1
Create an great booth that two or three guys could easily carry onto the showroom floor and assemble in under an hour.
Step #2
Wait on the Showroom floor as the MAFIA forces you to drive your vehicle to a dockyard, wait for a number, wait to be told where to go, drive to the convention center, wait for MAFIA personnel to unload your vehicle, wait for the MAFIA to bring your boxes up the elevator, wait even longer and wait even longer.
Start setting up your booth VERY SLOWLY so as not to arouse the lions within the MAFIA. The thought behind this is if you don't look like you are doing anything, they leave you alone.
Step #4
Realize that the MAFIA knows all things and you cannot fool them. Get yelled at by one of the "hitman" MAFIA guys, because of our working. "ONLY LICENCED AND PROFESSIONAL MAFIA PERSONS CAN BUILD YOUR BOOTH!!!!"
Step #5
Wait for a "professional" MAFIA person to be found so that our booth can be constructed.
Step #6
Realize that there is no such thing as a "professional" MAFIA person when it comes to tradeshows and welcome into your booth space some guy who will contstruct your booth.
Step #7
Marvel at the skill of this MAFIA "professional" who is able to move with the grace and speed of a slug.
Step #8
Watch in wonderment after the MAFIA "professional" decides that he needs to take his 45 minute break after working for less than 30 minutes.
Step #9
Walk around and look at the setup for the Independent Games Festival, in which Large Animal with Rocketbowl, Chronic Logic with GISH and Max Gaming with DH: Lore Invasion are all participating.
Come back to booth and wait for your own personal MAFIA "professional" to get back from break and finish constructing your booth.
Step #11
Step back and stare in absolute amazement as the MAFIA "professional" gets confused and constructs your banner stands backwards.
Step #12
Sit down and relax, because the MAFIA "professional" has finally finished and left your booth space.
Step #13
Begin setting up computers, monitors, GG Buttons and making the booth ready for the show.
SURVIVE THE SHOW
Step #15
On the last day of the show, quickly break down the entire booth in less than 10 minutes so that the "professional" MAFIA hitmen cannot yell at you.
Step #16
Wait for hours as you wait for the MAFIA to take all your boxes back down the elevator to the loading docs.
Step #17
Be VERY bold and park your tiny mini-van in front of huge moving trucks so that the truck drivers yell at the MAFIA "professionals" to get you your boxes so that we could move our minivan.
Step #18
Pick your mouth off the ground as you stare at the pallet of boxes that the MAFIA "professionals" bring you and realize that the pallet is bigger than your minivan.
Step #19
SMOOSH everything into the minivan. Ducktap things to the roof and make sure there is enough room so that four people can sit in the space made for two.
Drive through the night while watching Jay snore and shout wierd phrases out at odd times. "Fog.....Aarrrgghh.....Fog.....Crossdresser.....Fog". Brrraaaiiinnnsss.
"WHAT!!!..... Are you crazy???I'm Ben Garney.... I'm the technology guy.""And this is how I dance like the Orc.....""Hi...I'm Ben...and I like ponies....""...and the crowds began to gather at the sound of his voice..."Josh can belt out a tune...see Jay's enjoying Josh's audition for American Idol.Getting the GDC booth and computers up and running... look at the sweet Apple 30" Cinema Displays.The yoga master himself demonstrating his Marble MasteryThe crowds love GarageGames"Yes, I'm Tim Aste and I like to color..."
About the author
I run WebDesign.com
#22
03/30/2005 (7:40 am)
Edited because I don't want to cause hostility. 
#23
You are bringing your argument to Ben's .plan. The only thing that would be appropriate for you to say would be to point out that Ben's experience with a particular union should be be construed as applying to all unions.
Beyond that your just trolling up an argument.
03/30/2005 (9:34 am)
Rex,You are bringing your argument to Ben's .plan. The only thing that would be appropriate for you to say would be to point out that Ben's experience with a particular union should be be construed as applying to all unions.
Beyond that your just trolling up an argument.
#24
03/30/2005 (10:05 am)
just to clarify, I'm crying because I missed such a great time (though no doubt a lot of hard work too; what you don't see is the months of prep and post-follow up with contacts made). hope to be there next year for sure as a developer with a Torque title or two under my belt! thanks a ton for the killer play by play complete with pictures, would love to see more of this in the future. well put together!
#25
PS. I love hockey... thanks unions.
03/30/2005 (10:58 am)
REX.... how many unions have you been a member of??? I, for one, have been a member of two and my wife a member of another. And I stand by my comments. My wife was almost beaten and assaulted because of the idiotic teachers union in Miami that by the way, has spent the last few years losing all of their pensions and money to several crotchety old men who embezzled millions of dollars. Unions were important during the height of the labor movement. Unions today SUCK HARDER THAN..... never mind... I probably shouldn't be ranting.PS. I love hockey... thanks unions.
#26
Man, thats sooooo funny. :)
Fog.
03/30/2005 (11:02 am)
You know, when Ben told us about Jays little outbursts while asleep, I somehow didnt quite grasp how compeltely funny that mustve been :)Man, thats sooooo funny. :)
Fog.
#27
K
PS : Pictures of people fast asleep makes for great comedy.
PPS : That was a joke, no harm intended. I was looking at my post and realised it probably doesn't sound very nice.
03/30/2005 (12:09 pm)
Mothers And Fathers of Italian Ancestry? Nothing wrong with that. Why were they stacking your pallets?K
PS : Pictures of people fast asleep makes for great comedy.
PPS : That was a joke, no harm intended. I was looking at my post and realised it probably doesn't sound very nice.
#28
(See Step #19, picture #1)
04/05/2005 (1:31 pm)
Golf clubs? You guys had GOLF CLUBS in the booth?!(See Step #19, picture #1)
#29
04/05/2005 (10:04 pm)
Hehehe.... I've had personal experience with them MAFIA folk. It's insane!
#30
04/06/2005 (6:16 pm)
@ Ray Depew... no... the case contains parts of the stands.
#31
04/07/2005 (7:04 am)
Oh. Okay. It looked like a NATO-approved, bombproof holder of swingin' sticks. 
Torque Owner Rex
BrokeAss Games
(Please keep your rants in appropriate political forums. I'll meet you there)
Edited by "Union Hating" Benjamin