GDC and the Mob
by Benjamin Bradley · 03/29/2005 (7:39 pm) · 32 comments
Lots of image...wait for things to load.
Wow... Ok, I'm finally forcing myself to sit down and finish this .plan that has been in the works for a while. Ever since we got back from GDC, I've been trying to find some time to give all of you a behind the scenes look at GDC, but with the launch of DH: Lore Invasion, all sorts of press followup and Jay getting sick, I'm finally able to sit down, put my headphones on and pound this .plan out.
So what's it like to attend GDC?
Step #1
Create an great booth that two or three guys could easily carry onto the showroom floor and assemble in under an hour.
Step #2
Wait on the Showroom floor as the MAFIA forces you to drive your vehicle to a dockyard, wait for a number, wait to be told where to go, drive to the convention center, wait for MAFIA personnel to unload your vehicle, wait for the MAFIA to bring your boxes up the elevator, wait even longer and wait even longer.
Start setting up your booth VERY SLOWLY so as not to arouse the lions within the MAFIA. The thought behind this is if you don't look like you are doing anything, they leave you alone.
Step #4
Realize that the MAFIA knows all things and you cannot fool them. Get yelled at by one of the "hitman" MAFIA guys, because of our working. "ONLY LICENCED AND PROFESSIONAL MAFIA PERSONS CAN BUILD YOUR BOOTH!!!!"
Step #5
Wait for a "professional" MAFIA person to be found so that our booth can be constructed.
Step #6
Realize that there is no such thing as a "professional" MAFIA person when it comes to tradeshows and welcome into your booth space some guy who will contstruct your booth.
Step #7
Marvel at the skill of this MAFIA "professional" who is able to move with the grace and speed of a slug.
Step #8
Watch in wonderment after the MAFIA "professional" decides that he needs to take his 45 minute break after working for less than 30 minutes.
Step #9
Walk around and look at the setup for the Independent Games Festival, in which Large Animal with Rocketbowl, Chronic Logic with GISH and Max Gaming with DH: Lore Invasion are all participating.
Come back to booth and wait for your own personal MAFIA "professional" to get back from break and finish constructing your booth.
Step #11
Step back and stare in absolute amazement as the MAFIA "professional" gets confused and constructs your banner stands backwards.
Step #12
Sit down and relax, because the MAFIA "professional" has finally finished and left your booth space.
Step #13
Begin setting up computers, monitors, GG Buttons and making the booth ready for the show.
SURVIVE THE SHOW
Step #15
On the last day of the show, quickly break down the entire booth in less than 10 minutes so that the "professional" MAFIA hitmen cannot yell at you.
Step #16
Wait for hours as you wait for the MAFIA to take all your boxes back down the elevator to the loading docs.
Step #17
Be VERY bold and park your tiny mini-van in front of huge moving trucks so that the truck drivers yell at the MAFIA "professionals" to get you your boxes so that we could move our minivan.
Step #18
Pick your mouth off the ground as you stare at the pallet of boxes that the MAFIA "professionals" bring you and realize that the pallet is bigger than your minivan.
Step #19
SMOOSH everything into the minivan. Ducktap things to the roof and make sure there is enough room so that four people can sit in the space made for two.
Drive through the night while watching Jay snore and shout wierd phrases out at odd times. "Fog.....Aarrrgghh.....Fog.....Crossdresser.....Fog". Brrraaaiiinnnsss.
"WHAT!!!..... Are you crazy???I'm Ben Garney.... I'm the technology guy."
"And this is how I dance like the Orc....."
"Hi...I'm Ben...and I like ponies...."
"...and the crowds began to gather at the sound of his voice..."
Josh can belt out a tune...see Jay's enjoying Josh's audition for American Idol.
Getting the GDC booth and computers up and running... look at the sweet Apple 30" Cinema Displays.
The yoga master himself demonstrating his Marble Mastery
The crowds love GarageGames
"Yes, I'm Tim Aste and I like to color..."
Wow... Ok, I'm finally forcing myself to sit down and finish this .plan that has been in the works for a while. Ever since we got back from GDC, I've been trying to find some time to give all of you a behind the scenes look at GDC, but with the launch of DH: Lore Invasion, all sorts of press followup and Jay getting sick, I'm finally able to sit down, put my headphones on and pound this .plan out.
GDC, San Francisco and the Mafia
So what's it like to attend GDC?
Step #1
Create an great booth that two or three guys could easily carry onto the showroom floor and assemble in under an hour.
Step #2
Wait on the Showroom floor as the MAFIA forces you to drive your vehicle to a dockyard, wait for a number, wait to be told where to go, drive to the convention center, wait for MAFIA personnel to unload your vehicle, wait for the MAFIA to bring your boxes up the elevator, wait even longer and wait even longer.
Start setting up your booth VERY SLOWLY so as not to arouse the lions within the MAFIA. The thought behind this is if you don't look like you are doing anything, they leave you alone.
Step #4
Realize that the MAFIA knows all things and you cannot fool them. Get yelled at by one of the "hitman" MAFIA guys, because of our working. "ONLY LICENCED AND PROFESSIONAL MAFIA PERSONS CAN BUILD YOUR BOOTH!!!!"
Step #5
Wait for a "professional" MAFIA person to be found so that our booth can be constructed.
Step #6
Realize that there is no such thing as a "professional" MAFIA person when it comes to tradeshows and welcome into your booth space some guy who will contstruct your booth.
Step #7
Marvel at the skill of this MAFIA "professional" who is able to move with the grace and speed of a slug.
Step #8
Watch in wonderment after the MAFIA "professional" decides that he needs to take his 45 minute break after working for less than 30 minutes.
Step #9
Walk around and look at the setup for the Independent Games Festival, in which Large Animal with Rocketbowl, Chronic Logic with GISH and Max Gaming with DH: Lore Invasion are all participating.
Come back to booth and wait for your own personal MAFIA "professional" to get back from break and finish constructing your booth.
Step #11
Step back and stare in absolute amazement as the MAFIA "professional" gets confused and constructs your banner stands backwards.
Step #12
Sit down and relax, because the MAFIA "professional" has finally finished and left your booth space.
Step #13
Begin setting up computers, monitors, GG Buttons and making the booth ready for the show.
SURVIVE THE SHOW
Step #15
On the last day of the show, quickly break down the entire booth in less than 10 minutes so that the "professional" MAFIA hitmen cannot yell at you.
Step #16
Wait for hours as you wait for the MAFIA to take all your boxes back down the elevator to the loading docs.
Step #17
Be VERY bold and park your tiny mini-van in front of huge moving trucks so that the truck drivers yell at the MAFIA "professionals" to get you your boxes so that we could move our minivan.
Step #18
Pick your mouth off the ground as you stare at the pallet of boxes that the MAFIA "professionals" bring you and realize that the pallet is bigger than your minivan.
Step #19
SMOOSH everything into the minivan. Ducktap things to the roof and make sure there is enough room so that four people can sit in the space made for two.
Drive through the night while watching Jay snore and shout wierd phrases out at odd times. "Fog.....Aarrrgghh.....Fog.....Crossdresser.....Fog". Brrraaaiiinnnsss.
"WHAT!!!..... Are you crazy???I'm Ben Garney.... I'm the technology guy.""And this is how I dance like the Orc.....""Hi...I'm Ben...and I like ponies....""...and the crowds began to gather at the sound of his voice..."Josh can belt out a tune...see Jay's enjoying Josh's audition for American Idol.Getting the GDC booth and computers up and running... look at the sweet Apple 30" Cinema Displays.The yoga master himself demonstrating his Marble MasteryThe crowds love GarageGames"Yes, I'm Tim Aste and I like to color..."
#2
03/29/2005 (7:47 pm)
LOL, hilarious tale! Great job on getting it all done!
#3
03/29/2005 (7:50 pm)
Classic man...and that photo of Jay was wondrous!
#4
03/29/2005 (7:55 pm)
(crying) 
#5
That had to be one long ride back. I don't envy that.
03/29/2005 (7:57 pm)
Hey not all union guys work like that. Too bad i'm one of the ones who has to make up for their lazy asses. :(That had to be one long ride back. I don't envy that.
#6
03/29/2005 (8:31 pm)
wow the IGF looks relatively huge laid out like that this year.
#7
03/29/2005 (8:33 pm)
Yes, in previous years the IGF had the computers in a circle, but this year they just unfolded the circles and ran them in a huge wavey line.
#8
03/29/2005 (8:42 pm)
You certainly do have a way with storytelling.
#9
03/29/2005 (9:27 pm)
This was an AWESOME plan! Thanks for the play by play! 
#10
Then we had to get someone to cut a hole in carpet and slide a cable under!
But the show was great fun (even if my feet did hurt for a afew days after)
The van looked packed, glad I got to leave in the morning with the other guys now (also would have been no room for my case) :p
EDIT: Ben, you left out the stuff about Josh.... it was best part of the trip! *Hides* :D
03/29/2005 (9:29 pm)
Yeah that union stuff was stupid, had a ready made tool for putting the stands up but NOOOOOO the guy had to spend an hour looking for his tool box and a tool "he wanted to use"Then we had to get someone to cut a hole in carpet and slide a cable under!
But the show was great fun (even if my feet did hurt for a afew days after)
The van looked packed, glad I got to leave in the morning with the other guys now (also would have been no room for my case) :p
EDIT: Ben, you left out the stuff about Josh.... it was best part of the trip! *Hides* :D
#11
Great synopsis overall though :)
03/29/2005 (9:48 pm)
Ben you forgot to add "get dragged out to supper and have to put up with excited Torque developers while trying not to fall asleep for the long drive home... oh god I hope caffine can keep at least one of us awake for the drive back"Great synopsis overall though :)
#12
03/29/2005 (9:52 pm)
Logan...that was crazy... I think Tim was worried I was going to fall asleep, face first, in my pasta. But the food picked me up and we drove like bandits all the way home. Plus, we only missed a few exits.
#14
03/29/2005 (10:52 pm)
I know the feeling, being a building contractor. On certain union run jobs, I have to call an electrician before I can plug in my tools. 
#15
AWESOME stuff, describes the show for GG to the T. That picture of how much stuff we packed into that van is freaking awesome!
FOG
-Tim
03/29/2005 (11:02 pm)
Not pictured are massive hangovers.AWESOME stuff, describes the show for GG to the T. That picture of how much stuff we packed into that van is freaking awesome!
FOG
-Tim
#16
Don't know why but just set me off laughing...sorry Ben.
03/30/2005 (12:29 am)
That picture of Ben with the caption "Hi...I'm Ben...and I like ponies...."Don't know why but just set me off laughing...sorry Ben.
#17
03/30/2005 (1:04 am)
Hey, Bradley. Unions[regardless of your current opinion of them] gave the average worker the 8 hr. day, the weekend, end of child labor in this country, and other asundry benefits the 'average' worker, takes for granted this very day. Very early in this country's labor movement, people were killed in the streets[by agents of the employers] protesting treatment by their employers. I guess that's no kind of organized crime is it? You may know a lot of marketing, you know nothing of the Labor Movement in this country.
#18
Take it easy :)
03/30/2005 (1:55 am)
@Rex: Relax man, it was a joke about what was obviously an extremely miserable experience (having to watch people not do what they could have done in minutes).Take it easy :)
#19
03/30/2005 (1:57 am)
the picture of jay and his sleepful rantings was hilarious. The GG stand looks great despite the MAFIA's cunstruction job.
#20
03/30/2005 (3:20 am)
I don't think Ben was making a crack at the labor movment, we were really dealing with something that was criminal. We payed several hundred dollars for some yoyo to come over, unscrew 5 screws, then take a half hour break and never come back. Literally. It was a racket. :-)
Torque Owner Benjamin Bradley