Plan for Pat Wilson

Dear Fender,
I recently purchased one of your guitars, an American made Stratocaster (It was red, I like red.) so that me and some friends could make a band. We use Craigs garage because it's the biggest, and since his brother has a drum kit, we figured it would be easier to bring guitars there instead of bringing drums to my place. Anyway, to the point, I am very dissapointed in this guitar because when we tried to play, no loud music came out. Then we learned that we have to buy amps. We can't afford amps, and think that they should be included with the guitar.

This brings me to my second point. We decided that we'd write some music while we waited to get our amps sent to us. Our music is going to be the best ever. Think 50-Cent, mixed with Green Day...only sung like Destiny's Child. We're going to do a remake of "Panama" by Van Halen...only it'll be better. While trying to write the music, we learned that we need to learn how to play chords. This seems like an aweful lot to learn just to make a band. Someone suggested that we start by getting a chord book and doing something easy, but that's stupid because we don't want to play stuff that sounds like that.

Anyway, please get us the amps as soon as possible. We are going to plan out our song, and when we get the amps it will be the best song EVER. Thank you for your time,
-Pat