Celebratory

(Mirrored from my blog)

Well, this post is a day late, but nevermind. It was my birthday yesterday, I am now officially 26 years of age. Hooray for surviving another year!

Interestingly, it is now approximately 3 years since I started work on Scars of War specifically and 7 years since I first started teaching myself game development techniques with the goal of actually making a game. It's been a long journey, with still more to come, but it's been a hell of a ride so far. It seems like such a long time, seeing it in writing, almost a decade, but honestly the time has flown by.

And this year has been the best year yet. I've come so far since my first tentative steps, teaching myself how to use OpenGL and windows API calls. Probably the biggest shift this year is moving the project out into the public spotlight, getting the old blog up and running, starting on the website (yeah, I know I've been lazy there, need to jack up and get it finished), spreading the word on gaming forums. It was and continues to be kind of nerve wracking, honestly. Laboring over something for years in private is one thing, wheeling it out in front of an audience for them to scrutinize is another entirely. A good litmus test though.

This "PR" work (because that is what it is, make no mistake, even though you strive to present yourself honestly and plainly it is still a form of public relations and marketing) is also a surprising amount of work. The publics ability to consume new information and updates far outstrips an individual or even a companies ability to produce those updates. A double edged sword, in some ways, but simply another aspect you have to juggle as an indie. It may be taxing but thankfully it is also enjoyable and rewarding, like so many other aspects of being an indie developer. Showing off your work is nerve-wracking but those moments when someone appreciates what you're working so hard for, when they express the excitement you hoped they would feel, those moments are just...special.

Opening up my development to the public has also opened an unexpected number of doors. Some game sites (RPGWatch, Gamebanshee, the Codex) have begun to follow the development, a fact that still seems somewhat surreal to me, seeing my name in their news posts. And I recently participated in the [url="http://www.irontowerstudio.com/forum/index.php?board=8.0"]ITS roundtable discussion[/url], a discussion which included quite a few luminaries of the RPG field. Humbling company to be in, that. Thanks go to Vince for making that happen.

It is funny, this whole journey, because there is no clearly defined line which says "here, here is where you are officially a game developer". You just work at it and one day you realise that you have become one, that you spend your time working on it and sacrificing for it and thinking about it and moving in those social circles. And you realise you've crossed that line, wherever it was. That the difference between you and the bigger players is nothing besides resources and the history they have accumulated behind their "brand". As arrogant as it may sound you realise it isn't an externally imposed title, it's not something you are awarded by a committee . It is simply a way of being and doing. You are what you do and think about all day.

Heh, look at me, I've gone all strange and philosophical. :p

I was commenting to Vince when we were chatting a while ago that I had a strange thought driving home one night. That I should tell my girlfriend that if I should get into a car accident and die or end up in a coma or something, that she should go onto my blog and tell people that I stopped not because I gave up but because I had suffered an accident. It was important to me that the people who were anticipating SoW and supporting my development would know that. Lol, what a strange thought hey? Priorities, I have them.

Anyway, that's enough rambling. It must be the onset of old age coming on, I tell you. ;)