I have a dream...

Hello again my dear friends,

I have a dream that most of you probably had or even still have, my dream is to graduate from High School, and after that go to my local community college with my friends for two more years, and then jumpstart to Portland, Oregon in order to attend the Art Institute College and get my masters in Video Game design and a P.H.D. in Computer Science/Programming. After my long College life is over I want to start my own business in the field of graphic arts, web-design, and/or Game Design. Independence for life, and that means to work hard, stick with the team, work with the community, and find as many publishers as possible! =]

I hope I have a great life ahead of me, I want only the best for my kids and my wife. I know a lot about computers for my age, I think me and computers were meant for each other, I was even offered a job by Offset Software (Makers of Project Offset) after sending in my portfolio. They offered me a job as level designer, not lead level designer but I was still honored by that. Of course I wasn't able to work for them since I was only 14 at the time but man that felt accomplishing, I am also in the donators list! :P

When I said earlier that I wanted to pass High School and get a diploma, most of you will think, uhmn - DUH! But for me that's not so easy, I posted a very personal blog about this topic earlier on this year on how I was diagnosed with the Bi-Polar disorder and to my surprise many of you shared this life wrecking disease with me and some of you had even worse stories to tell then me but I am only an individual and I am not as strong as I used to be so I will tell you what happened this past year in school.

When I first came to my High School I was a little overwhelmed since I never attended an American High School before and it was my Freshman year so it took a few weeks to adjust, and the language barrier was still in tact (I was born and raised in Germany) so making friends was also a challenge, but I have great friends now who have supported me with a lot of things these past months. On my first quarter report card I got a 4.1 average, thats above all A's, I was so proud, and so motivated but then out of nowhere I fell in to a manic stage that lasted for 5 months and my Semester report card had 4 F's, one A, and a B, what a fucking bummer, sorry for the language but I needed to express my feelings. The 3rd quarter had the same grades and here is my final report card for the 2nd semester - five F's and one D, this time around I didn't even pass my graphic arts class and my teacher said she was crying when she gave me that F, thats right, the D was not in my computer class, it was in P.E. isn't that great? A lot of you may now think that I am an attention seeking idiot since I live in the Suburbs in Redondo Beach, California four streets down from the beach and live in a 1.4 million dollar house but I live here because I have no choice. I am a refugee from the Gang war in Germany that my gang over there got in to and I can't move back there for a while without getting stabbed, shot, run over, or killed in any other exotic way. I have done and seen a lot of things in my life that I am not proud of and I don't think I deserved this second chance my mom gave me by moving to my grandmothers house here in the United States but I love her to death for that and it has helped our relationship so much, I used to despise my parents, I was young, stupid, and most of the time drugged out at the age of 13, what an accomplishment. After my seventh time getting arrested in one month and getting stabbed for the 3rd time in one year my mom pulled the plug and dragged me out of my beloved fatherland and back then I was too stupid to understand why, but now I realize that I would have been a god damn corpse by now if she wouldn't have done that. Mom, I love you. Anyways back to my future in high school.
You are probably wondering how I can continue regular high school as opposed to continuation school or independent studies with a GPA lower than 1.0, and sadly - I have to say that next year I will be in the classroom with the mentally disabled kids in order to make up credits but whatever it takes for me to pass high school, I'll do it.

I believe that destiny is, at times, laid out as a path the day you were born - thats how I explain DejaVu, but most of the time we are responsible for passing high school, getting a girl friend, proposing to our girl friends, driving sober, obeying laws and all those sorts of things. Destiny is a topic that me and my friends have addressed a lot in the past few weeks and I think it very interesting to talk about it.

If you have read this far I want to thank you and also wish you a great life,
-Kevin