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Thoughts about a story idea?
Thoughts about a story idea?
| Name: | Sam Bolton |  |
|---|---|---|
| Date Posted: | Jan 12, 2006 | |
| Rating: |  Not Rated | |
| Public: | YES | |
| Comments: | YES | |
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| Profile Page: | View profile page for Sam Bolton |
Blog post
Hey guys,
I'm still workin' at my game thankfully. more determined then ever, and I had a story idea, that I kinda' liked, but I would like to run it by you guys to see what everyone thought. This is just the beginning of the story, so anyone that's lookin' forward to playin' the game when it comes out (which I'm assuming is no one so far), this will not ruin the plot line for you. I'm just gonna' copy down what I wrote in my notebnook, so if it seems kinda' jumpy and has really bad grammar, sorry. Also it may seem to jump into the story really fast, but this is just the beginning of the game. I plan on a lot of stuff being in-between my jumps. So here we go....
Keri's (Our main character) parents only being able to afford to send her to the new colonies which had to be made after the 5th world war. Earth now in a radioactive cloud They sent her with a wiseman who agreed to take care of her. On their new planet and nearly 20 years later, Keri is renoun (Not sure about spelling) throughout the galaxy for her amazing feats of physical activity. Doing various extreme sports as BMX, skateboarding, snowboarding, deep dea diving, sky diving (High altitude), etc.
Her guardian/mentor ahad made a good living forging crafts for those who wanted. Occassionaly making swords as a hobby and teaching Kari how to use them, since she showed such an interst earlier in her life. During the move to the new solar system we found new races which had been living there. These reaces seemed to be as friendly as we were and made agreements about living on planetsnear one another. The only problem was a race that laid waste to random points of this galaxy. They would come and destroy everything that they could. Like a plague on the universe this race would take prisoners and as far as anyone knows they would torture them for hours upon hours until the prisoner was dead. As far as we can tell they do this out of their sick enjoyment of hearing our screams.
While Keri is pre-pairing to do her high altitude dive the scurge race come. They attack the planet and Keri must get to her adoptive father. After reaching her adoptive father without incident she equips herself with a sword. Though not very proficient with it, she manages to fight them off enough to make it to one of the escape pods. During the escap one ship followed the small groups escape pod. After a rather abrupt attaching to the escape pod, the escapees must arm themselves as best as possible before the scurge race penetrates their hull. Keri and her adoptive father must lead the small group against the ship, leaving Keri and her father (adoptive) worn out and injured.
Everyone else had been gruesomely murdered in the fight. the captain however, before being defeated said "You have the information that we seek." This single sentance burned through her mind. What did he mean? What could she know that they wanted? Is it that information that the scurge attacked the planet? Is that why that ship followed their escape pod? Is that why everyone is dead, becasue she has some information -she- doesn't even know about? Looking around to the dead bodies and upon seeing a child that dies in her arms, she raids the ship for supplies, weapons, and armor so that she could attempt a one man assault against the scurge to find out what information she knows.
That is my idea for a story. There will be much more after this, much much much more. But this is how I was thinking to get the character involved. A little past history on the person and the galaxy. Let me know what you guys think. I'm trying to stay away from something that's all ready been done. So if this is copying something, someone please let me know. I would like to know what you all think, so I hope to hear from a lot fo you. Thanks a lot.
I'm still workin' at my game thankfully. more determined then ever, and I had a story idea, that I kinda' liked, but I would like to run it by you guys to see what everyone thought. This is just the beginning of the story, so anyone that's lookin' forward to playin' the game when it comes out (which I'm assuming is no one so far), this will not ruin the plot line for you. I'm just gonna' copy down what I wrote in my notebnook, so if it seems kinda' jumpy and has really bad grammar, sorry. Also it may seem to jump into the story really fast, but this is just the beginning of the game. I plan on a lot of stuff being in-between my jumps. So here we go....
Keri's (Our main character) parents only being able to afford to send her to the new colonies which had to be made after the 5th world war. Earth now in a radioactive cloud They sent her with a wiseman who agreed to take care of her. On their new planet and nearly 20 years later, Keri is renoun (Not sure about spelling) throughout the galaxy for her amazing feats of physical activity. Doing various extreme sports as BMX, skateboarding, snowboarding, deep dea diving, sky diving (High altitude), etc.
Her guardian/mentor ahad made a good living forging crafts for those who wanted. Occassionaly making swords as a hobby and teaching Kari how to use them, since she showed such an interst earlier in her life. During the move to the new solar system we found new races which had been living there. These reaces seemed to be as friendly as we were and made agreements about living on planetsnear one another. The only problem was a race that laid waste to random points of this galaxy. They would come and destroy everything that they could. Like a plague on the universe this race would take prisoners and as far as anyone knows they would torture them for hours upon hours until the prisoner was dead. As far as we can tell they do this out of their sick enjoyment of hearing our screams.
While Keri is pre-pairing to do her high altitude dive the scurge race come. They attack the planet and Keri must get to her adoptive father. After reaching her adoptive father without incident she equips herself with a sword. Though not very proficient with it, she manages to fight them off enough to make it to one of the escape pods. During the escap one ship followed the small groups escape pod. After a rather abrupt attaching to the escape pod, the escapees must arm themselves as best as possible before the scurge race penetrates their hull. Keri and her adoptive father must lead the small group against the ship, leaving Keri and her father (adoptive) worn out and injured.
Everyone else had been gruesomely murdered in the fight. the captain however, before being defeated said "You have the information that we seek." This single sentance burned through her mind. What did he mean? What could she know that they wanted? Is it that information that the scurge attacked the planet? Is that why that ship followed their escape pod? Is that why everyone is dead, becasue she has some information -she- doesn't even know about? Looking around to the dead bodies and upon seeing a child that dies in her arms, she raids the ship for supplies, weapons, and armor so that she could attempt a one man assault against the scurge to find out what information she knows.
That is my idea for a story. There will be much more after this, much much much more. But this is how I was thinking to get the character involved. A little past history on the person and the galaxy. Let me know what you guys think. I'm trying to stay away from something that's all ready been done. So if this is copying something, someone please let me know. I would like to know what you all think, so I hope to hear from a lot fo you. Thanks a lot.
Recent Blog Posts
| List: | 02/24/06 - Woot! 01/27/06 - Damn, it's expensive!! 01/23/06 - Really moving! 01/13/06 - Thoughts on some things. 01/12/06 - Thoughts about a story idea? 01/09/06 - Everything's goin' great so far! 01/08/06 - My first 3D game!! |
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Submit your own resources!| Brian Kirchgessner (Jan 12, 2006 at 16:09 GMT) |
| Sean H. (Jan 12, 2006 at 16:23 GMT) |
in my opinion keri needs alot more motivation for her actions. why is keri going to fight the scurge? keri's about to trek on a one-man "assault" against an entire race of deadly beings simply because one of them relayed some short cryptic message to her? keri's either extremely suicidal, got a crush on one of the scurge, or she's just plain dumb. add some more elements which will work to motivate keri to seek out the scurge for information in addition to "You have the information that we seek". maybe you could throw in some nightmares or premonitions keri's been having lately.
| Jared Coliadis (Jan 12, 2006 at 16:31 GMT) |
There is more to ask, but I've read that you want to go for a believable story. This needs work. Also, the "main character has some world-shattering inner secret/ability" story arc has been done a countless amount of times.
Sorry to sound negative, but without critisism, you won't make any progress.
| Lee-Orr Orbach (Jan 12, 2006 at 16:36 GMT) |
just one more thing - you should add some relevence to the fact that it is her adopter, and not her real father, or it wont make a defference.
good luck,
Lee-Orr
| Eugene Schaeffer (Jan 12, 2006 at 19:59 GMT) |
| Sam Bolton (Jan 12, 2006 at 20:10 GMT) |
Like I said, there is a lot of stuff in-between there that I didn't write down, because I'm just getting a basic outline of a story down. Yes, I did forget to mention that the escape pod is on a planet that they are on. There is gonna' be a kick ass opening scene of her diving out of the airplane, and having to get to the ground un-harmed. May not be the best graphics ever, but even with bad graphics, in my head it still looks sweet. I'm saying that Keri isn't proficient with a sword because she hasn't been in a life or death situation with one, and has only trained on her off time with her adoptive father who has trained extensively with them. I want a system where you can not only level up your character and customize them, but also you level up your skills with weapons. So when you get a new character, they may not be the very best with their weapon, but they will get better with them. To explain the increase in damage as you go up, and there will be new animations of the characters after you reach certain levels, to show and represent that you are getting better.
I mean, any dumbass can take a sword and run someone through with it, but to hit accurate spots and deal the maximum amount of damage takes a lot of skill. Also someone mentioned about the scurge penetrating the hull of the escape pod in space. Very good question. They can actually do this now, if they actually had a need for it. Where you take like a walkway, like they have at airports to board planes, and you push it out to attach to the escape pod, via a sticky substance or what not. Maybe even penetrating the hull with little hooks. As long as they filled the holes continuously, it wouldn't matter much. Then you fill that walkway with air, and then it would be safe to walk through and to start torching the hull in order to gain access to the inside. Hence why the people had enough time to arm themselves.
And someone else mentioned that the main character would have some world-shattering inner secret ability. NO!!!!!! I refuse to have that in my game. She has information that people want. There is a large difference. She can't like take out a planet by just concentrating on it really hard. She has information that not even she knows about. This will be explained through the game, but I don't want to go into detail in-case someone doesn't want to know where the story goes. But she will not have some extreme ability. I believe that me and my other designers have agreed upon, we will be having new races in there. I think I mentioned that on my post above. And they will have special abilities between races.
I believe one races ability is quickened ability of healing. We're explaining this by saying that this race, for whatever reason, has an increased molecular growth and decay. In other words, this is why humans die. Because all of our cells die. So say our decay rate is a million cells per day (Not actually this). Their cell decay rate would be 10 million per day. When we bleed, our cells reproduce, to create a scab, and then we develop another layer of skin by our cells reproducing. So if theirs reproduce at such an increased rate, then they would heal at an amazing level. However this would also include their life expectancy to drop dramatically. So if their decay rate was 10 times more then us, they would live a 10th of our life. So our life expectancy was 80 (Not actually this), their life expectancy would be about 8. But given that would mean that they are born and by the time they are 1 they would be a teenager to humans.
So I mean, we're trying to be able to explain everything, and we have some seriously OCD designers and testers. So they should pick up anything that won't make sense or would piss people off. However, I do want to ask you guys one thing. what do you think about games where they say that everything that you've done from here to here has been a dream? I'm just curious if it pisses everyone off, or just me. But thank you guys for the responses, I appreciate it a lot, and no one feel sorry for their comments. 1) I see people saying sorry as a weakness, and 2) you shouldn't be sorry, criticism is what makes things great. So keep em' comin', and don't even think twice, go for the low blow.
| Sam Bolton (Jan 12, 2006 at 20:12 GMT) |
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