Plan for Melv May

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Phil Carlisle   (Mar 15, 2004 at 17:53 GMT)

Hey Melv! dont get down on yourself mate! it happens to everyone who's doing a full-time job.

I think just your own expectations have led you to feel let down, but be realistic, you have set yourself a huge task, and its at least partly compelete, thats something to feel great about!

As for people waiting for things, well, thats fine really. Let em wait, you release when you release and thats it. Dont get down because youve got bigger priorities (wife and baby come first), thats life!

It doesnt matter when you get the thing done melv, its the fact that youre doing it. You learn by doing much better as a game dev. Perhaps this project IS a bit too big? I wouldnt be too scared to cut my losses. If you really feel like its not going to ship, why not put it up as a game-pack or as a content pack?

Dont beat yourself up so badly though bud, its not like game dev is THAT important. For you especially, its a hobby, dont forget that :) It should be enjoyable or it aint worth doing.

Feel better?

Now get on with some work you lazy slacker!

Paul Dana   (Mar 15, 2004 at 17:59 GMT)

I second phil's opinion and add this:

Go where your favorite mind begs you to take it.
- Samuel Gladstein

And yeah...cut the slacking. :-)

Davis Ray Sickmon, Jr   (Mar 15, 2004 at 18:11 GMT)

Melv, I have felt your pain, and still feel it from time to time. When I had a full time job and worked on TZ at the same time, TZ suffered. Now I'm a contractor... with basically a full time job doing the contracting stuff, and working on the games at night more often than not. (However, I do get a bit more time for game development now than I used to.) It's painful as hell to see how slow a project can progress sometimes. At one point I realized there were three options:

1) Give up. Throw in the towel, and decide the project was too big / wrong projects / etc.
2) Get Help. Find another programmer or two to help out, and divide the task between 'em. However, this introduces an entirely new set of complications - you now spend time handling managment of task, and you also have to spend a lot o' time explaining what you need, what's done, your design theory, etc. I've never done this one with a game dev project, but, have been involved in this sort of thing in 'Real Life' projects. Sometimes this works out great, sometimes this turns into a major time sucking fiasco.
3) Stay your course.

It's painful, but, #3 is the choice I made - I decided I'd remain in charge of development myself, and work on it as much as I could. It's been slow and long, but, TZ is almost done. 17 Months I think now. That's a LONG time to work on something. I can't say if I believe this was the right or wrong choice - but it seems to have worked out ok. (Better than OK in some ways - along the way some toys and tools for Torque came out the improved TZ considerably. I wouldn't have held the product up for 'em, but, I'm glad it happened :-)

As for optimizing your life - that can only go so far. The 'normal stuff' still has to get done - bills paid, house cleaned, etc. There's no way around some of these things. And ya' still need to spend time with your wife :-)

I'm sure a number of people will disagree with my advice, but here is is for what it's worth:

Relax. Change your schedule to "When It's Done." Making it to the next IGC is cool, but if ya don't make it, you don't make it - just bring some screenshots on a CD to show off, or even just show off what ya' have to a few friends to see what they think. You aren't wanting to make Game Dev your life, so don't let the schedule kill ya, and DON'T LET THE STRESS MOUNT. I know that last bit, it's bad, and it really needs to be avoided. Otherwise, you start to look at the game, and regret working on it or grow to loath working on it.

Melv May   (Mar 15, 2004 at 18:27 GMT)

Hey, thanks guys, good advice there.

It's strange how your perspective changes when you're inside the bottle looking out. From my point of view sometimes it looks like we've achieved nothing of value but when I show it someone new, the usual reaction is wow, that's so cool! That can be like a drug sometimes and usual leads to a spurt of activity.

It seems that no matter how we try to organise development, we struggle to meet the tasks at hand so perhaps your advice of "when it's done" could work. I love my day job but I'd do almost anything to be able to work on this sucka for the next 3 months solid.

Bah! When I think about it, we've got bucket loads of screenies/movies we could show at the IGC for Strategem/Particle-Engine so what am I worried about. These should entertain people and I guess that's what it's all about ... not schedules and late nights but fun 'til the sun comes up and let us not forget beer. ;)

@Phil: Thanks, I do feel a little better now. :)
@Paul: Apt Quote. :)
@Mr Jr: I always read your posts, they go to illustrate the woes of indie development and serve as motivation to show how you can turn things around. Thinking about it really, you're so right, when it's done, it's done ... nuff said. Thanks bud.

- Melv.
Edited on Mar 15, 2004 18:28 GMT

Davis Ray Sickmon, Jr   (Mar 15, 2004 at 18:54 GMT)

Personally, I wish I had a few less woes when it comes ot Indie Development, but I just chalk it up to being a learning process. I'm glad someone walks way with something useful from my ramblings :-) When TZ is done and setting on shelves, I'm going to write a post mortem on it "Trajectory Zone: Murphy's Law as Applied to Indie Game Development". Lord knows just about everything that could go wrong has already :-) If ya can't serve as a good example, at least be good at being a bad example ;-)

I agree with your perspective comment. Learning to step outside and take a look with fresh eyes is something I'm trying to do ;-)

Dan MacDonald   (Mar 15, 2004 at 19:08 GMT)

Don't worry Melv, i've been working on Katsu part time for the past 2 IGC's. ;)

Michael Cozzolino   (Mar 15, 2004 at 20:12 GMT)

I know how you feel Melv. Sometimes I feel resentful of my 2 jobs. I really sped alot of time trying to learn stuff. Especially artwork. I need time to sit down and explore apps and experiment. I don't have alot of time because I work from 8AM to 10 or 11 PM basically including lunch and the stop at home between jobs to eat and get ready to leave again.

Sometimes I get pissed and say screw it. I don't have time to do what I love so why bother. Other times I just think about the rush I get from working on Torque and it all seems worth it.

You just have to push on and when an opportunity arrives to work on your game you need to take it.

Greg Findlay   (Mar 15, 2004 at 21:15 GMT)

Sounds to me like you need a small guilt free vacation from Strategem. Take a full week off where you expect to get nothing done on it and have the rest of your team do the same. Then when you get back take it slow. Break things down into smaller chunks, say in weekly and daily doses. And don't think you need schedule things to strictly. Plan, for example, to complete 3 things and each of those things be something you can finish in a night. On busier week, plan to do 2 or 1.

You seem to have your belt on too tight when you don't even need pants. Relax, it's indie game dev. No one knows if you aren't wearing pants. ;)

GF

Davis Ray Sickmon, Jr   (Mar 15, 2004 at 22:15 GMT)

I think Greg's got the right idea :-)

However, I will make one further recommendation. Don't think about the last sentence of Greg's post too much - I've met a good number of ya'lls at IGC, and the last thing I want to think of while browsing the forums and .plans is any of ya'lls setting in front of the computer posting without pants! Bleh! ;-)

Johnny Hill   (Mar 15, 2004 at 23:59 GMT)

Kudos to the stuff you have accomplish Melv!! Dont sweat the would uh, could uh, should uh, stuff heh.

Sounds like you got plenty to show already!!

You got responsiblities as a new Dad first and foremost so dont beat yourself up that you feel bad that the coding have to take a back seat for a while.

I feel bad when I see the stuff you guys code out and say I got all this time and dont know anything I wish I could help. I find myself back drawing and say if I sit here and keep drawing I will never learn. So my first priority is to get my brain up to speed.

I will never forget how to draw. You got a major priority in 20 weeks but I dont think you will just suddenly forget how to do what you like to do. Take care of your biz-ness man!! Be a cool Dad to your Kid!!

I got to get back to getting a planet into the torque terrain engine heh :)) Literally :))

Stefan Lundmark   (Mar 16, 2004 at 16:15 GMT)

Greg's idea is great, that's actually what I did when I felt about the same. Also, you can't expect to do it all yourself when you have a full-time job, at least not very fast.

That will probably burn a individual out, and in this case a very talented individual. I've been there, it's not nice.

Take care Melv

Melv May   (Mar 16, 2004 at 17:04 GMT)

Thanks guys.

- Melv.

Brian Ramage   (Mar 19, 2004 at 19:17 GMT)

Stay on course Melv. One thing that might make you feel better when you are developing is to set lots of little milestones. Then as you check them off you can get a sense of accomplishment and an idea of overall progress. You could also send out updates to the community as you have done here and get a boost from that.

Taking a break can be a good idea too, don't feel guilty about it, think long term. A lot of times when you come back to something you haven't worked in a while you can see the value of it and the gravity of what you've done, and that can get you excited again.

Don't stop doing what you love to do!

Melv May   (Mar 20, 2004 at 06:43 GMT)

Thanks Brian.

I think that the major rework on particular parts of the code didn't help. That produced a big psychological hurdle which, when started, completely broke Strategem. All this came about from poor planning for a particular part of the game. This is/has been resolved to some degree but there is still more work to do on it.

Now that I've been away from it for a while, I'm starting to see the value of it again (like you say) and I'm really getting the urges to work on it. All I've got to do now is find the time. ;)

Time can really be the enemy.

- Melv.

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