Plan for Axel Cushing

The Cush is back, and he looks...grim

The holidays have passed, and not many things have changed. But a few things have, and they may prove to be the critical difference.

Part of the problem from before was that I could see the end result in my head, but the path from point A to point B was cloudy at best. Bringing them to life was not easy in the slightest for me, and explaining them to people garnered me vaguely interest looks but no actual results. On this, I should be perhaps thankful that the few people I've talked to during my hiatus have even less idea about bringing the concepts involved to fruition. Be that as it may, there's only been a few people who've really managed to grasp my ideas and start bringing them to reality. Unfortunately, one of those guys is hoofing around Iraq right at the moment, and the other is somewhere in the general vicinity of Denver. My being in Phoenix, naturally, does not make for what you'd call an ideal development environment. Yeah, yeah, I know. If Derek Smart could cobble up a sequel like that, surely I should be able to get an original game out. I might, though I don't exactly have three million dollars to play with like he did. (And given how godawful BC3KAD was, I'm mighty curious how exactly he managed to get three million dollars to play with.) So, with a renewed and decidedly grim sense of purpose, I've formulated the goals for myself that I'm going to be shooting for this year.

--Get out of my current position
Frankly, tech support blows when you're talking to the gibbering masses who have purchased technology far in advance of their technological capacity and who lack the initiative to actually figure out how the stuff works. They want their broadband to be like their water and electricity: a utility that they have no control over which is constantly present and reliable. They need to get used to disappointment, same as the rest of us.

--Learn to effectively use UnrealEd
Why UnrealEd? Why not Torque? Two reasons. One, I've already got UT2k3, whereas I'm unlikely to be getting Torque anytime in the immediate future. Two, I've already made about four different stabs at it previously in the last six months, so it seems kinda silly to blow a C-note on a totally different engine and editor when I can't even operate the editor for a $40 game. By getting UnrealEd under my belt, I will have a better foundation for Torque (should I opt to purchase it) and thus get more value for my money. Plus, I'll be able to put it on a resume in case Cliffy B starts headhunting.

--Learn C++ and make it stick
By my count (and this is something that I've probably undercounted by a fair degree), I've attempted to teach myself C++ on eight separate occasions in the last three years, and there are probably a few gaps in there somewhere. So why would I subject myself to the torture all over again? Part of it is that I'm looking for the triumph of hope over experience. This time, I am going to make it stick, even if it means I break the spines on "C++ Crash Course" and "C++ For Dummies" a dozen times over just from running through everything again and again. By accomplishing this, I add a critical skill to my repetoire, which in turn allows me a better understanding of scripting for things like UnrealScript and Python, which again is something that looks good on a resume.

--Redesign/complete previous game concepts
OK, even if I don't get a job working for Digital Reality designing the levels of Unreal Tournament 2005 (you have to know they're going to make that one next), I can still work on the designs that I've been noodling, nurturing, and trying like hell to bring into full creation. It will be slow going. I fully recognize this and fully accept it. But with the work I'll be doing as far as C++ and UnrealEd, I will certainly have a better handle on the design aspects of the program and be better able to develop a useful design doc. And with that in hand, I'll be able to move forward in a way I have not been able to do so previously.

--Cobble together at least one "quickie" game and/or a few UT maps
I don't know if this would be a side scroller or deathmatch maps or what, but it'd be something to prove (at least to myself) that I have in fact succeeded in two of my aforementioned goals. Additionally, it puts my name out there so that I'm not just one more "wannabe" in the crowd.

--Build a new dev team
Now, this might seem a bit like the cart getting ahead of the horse, but there are several good reasons for this. For one, I won't be working in a total vacuum as far as reaching my aforementioned goals. It may sound silly, but when learning new things, it helps to have somebody occasionally giving me a swift kick in the ass to refocus my efforts. Who better to give you that kick than a trusted colleague and friend? For another reason, when the time comes to actually getting those design docs turned into actual games, I'll have the people briefed in and ready to go. Familiarity may breed contempt in some cases, but in this case, I'm looking to breed cohesion.

The informal grouping of coders, modellers, musicians, and artists will be known as "The Raving Army." The website is already going up (albeit slowly), and more information will be forthcoming.

In my head, there is a meaner and crustier version of myself telling me "You will not fail." To which I can only reply, "Yes, sir!"