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I'm all but dead, and I'm ready for round two.

Name:	Britton LaRoche
Date Posted:	Apr 09, 2007
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I'm not dead. Death is too easy. I've been going through a rough time the past 4 years. I'm looking back on the vast wasteland of destruction of my life. Its a mess. I've let people down. My server was hacked. I've lost data I can never find. I've lost money. I barely kept my company afloat. I haven't slept well in 4 years. I have more grey hair than I ever had. My teeth are bad, I have a gap that keeps growing. Right now that gap puts David Letterman and Arnold Swarzenagger to shame. I'm fat, I weigh the most I ever weighed in my life. I've aged 20 years in the past two years.

But thats nothing. I've lost the two people in my life that always believed in me, and told me to go after my dreams, my Grandmother and my Dad passed away in 2005. I've been kicked to the curb, in every way imaginable. My family, my finances and my dreams all in shambles. I've strained like a mad man just to hold everything together, put food on the table and keep the mortage payments going on my house. Luckily, I do have some technical skills that are in demand, otherwise I'd have been homeless for the past four years too.

But, ya know what? Its not over. Looking back I would not change a thing. Going for your dreams (other than the kids) is the only thing that makes life worth while.

Things may be turning for me, my youngest kid who is 20 months old is getting over a scary siezure disorder. We dialed 911 so many times that all the paramedics in Plano knew my son by name. Apparently he is outgrowing the siezures. I'm not much of a religous man, but the past year I've prayed more than I have in my entire life. The fact that my son is a live and well, means that if anything else goes well its simply icing on the cake. I'm not worried about the money the bills or anything like that any more. Financial problems are nothing compared to the scary ride I went through in 2006.

I look at my two Son's and I get all the strength I need, the stronger the two of them get the more determined I become to make it all work. My kids are all I need. Bringing back Amped Labs and Game Beavers is just a dream, its a nice to have in comparison to the health of my kids.

Now that my younger kid is healthy again. Knock on wood! I'm getting more time to spend on the video game dreams. I'm getting ready for round two. All I can say is life is not worth living with out my kids. With my kids, nothing can stop me now.

Look out.... good things are on the way once again. This time, I'm taking Jay Moore and Jeff Tunnell's advice. Think small, build slowly. Its the only way to go.

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List:	08/08/08 - iPhone and the TGB 06/24/08 - Combat in the Age of Conan 06/18/08 - Exploring Age Of Conan 05/28/08 - TGEA New Tutorials! 05/22/08 - Game development is all about the tutorial 05/10/08 - Why the good guys always win 03/11/08 - Catching up 10/05/07 - MSVC 2005 is Free!

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Todd Pickens (Apr 09, 2007 at 04:16 GMT)

Live has a way of throwing some serious curve balls. The very best of luck to you in the years ahead.

David Montgomery-Blake (Apr 09, 2007 at 04:34 GMT)

It is good to see you back in the fold. Take it slow and kick ass as it comes!

Britton LaRoche (Apr 09, 2007 at 04:35 GMT)

I've got all I need. Dreams are nice to have. These two kids are the need to have. Round two is for these guys. Look out world, Daddy's going to kick some butt.
Edited on Apr 09, 2007 04:41 GMT

Britton LaRoche (Apr 09, 2007 at 04:43 GMT)

@Todd, thanks. I can use all the good luck I can get.
@David, you bet. Slow is a good advice. I'll do what I can when I can and let it grow slowly over time. No other way to do it.

Xavier "eXoDuS" Amado (Apr 09, 2007 at 04:57 GMT)

Hey Britton, I'm sorry to hear about all the bad luck you've been through lately, but always remember, there's a storm before the calm, so things should start to get better, and get great in fact. Good Luck!

Jeremiah Fulbright (Apr 09, 2007 at 07:24 GMT)

Big fan of Amped Labs, being a former TsN guy... Keep on keeping on and Good luck!

Stefan Rampp (Apr 09, 2007 at 09:35 GMT)

Hi Britton, great to hear from you again, although news could have been better of course. If there is anything I can help you with, let me know - be it game development or the seizure disorder (did I ever mention that I work at an epilepsy center?). I don't have much time, but there is always a little.

Mark Berry (Apr 09, 2007 at 10:01 GMT)

Life sucks at times, but I'm glad you are finding your feet again.

I have a dedicated server that has plenty of space and is very under utilised if you want to get gamebeavers running again, the .org is taken, but the .com is free, ask nice and I'll even register it for you, if someone else doesn't see this and take it :-)

Good luck.

Michael Hense (Apr 09, 2007 at 11:19 GMT)

try and hang in there Brit... i'm going through a life changing experience myself at the moment, and fighting all the emotional struggles, self doubt, challenges, financial upsets, etc... that accompanies it...

you're not alone... i hope to see you on the other end of adversity...

--Mike

Chip Lambert (Apr 09, 2007 at 13:09 GMT)

I'm glad you're still around Britton. I hate to hear about all the adversity you've had, but I'm glad you're making it through.

I'll gladly offer some help to you as well to bring GameBeavers or anything else you'd like to bring online. I offer my web developing skills to you.

Good luck Britton. And of course welcome back.

Adib Murad (Apr 10, 2007 at 00:50 GMT)

Britton, just to let you know I read this and am ready to raise some colesterol at Burger Wars.

You know how I love this game idea. Besides, I'm finally preparing my own leap of faith out of daytime job and into game stuff. At least for a year, to see how it goes.

If you still want a hand, just let me know.

Loler (Apr 10, 2007 at 07:36 GMT)

Hey Britton,

I went through a period like that, though thankfully the only problems were mine, and for me it only lasted a little more than a year. Maybe sometime I'll put it all down in a .plan, but it can be really tough. I remember thinking I'd hit bottom on numerous occasions, only to keep sinking lower.

You really learn a bunch about yourself and your limits in a time like that. You learn that a human being can endure almost anything to keep going, and to keep those they love going. I went into that period of my life a kid with huge dreams, and I came out an adult with many of the same dreams, but a more realistic view toward achieving them.

All the best!

Loler

Corey Punches (Apr 10, 2007 at 18:36 GMT)

Nice to see you haven't let all the bad things that have happened beat you down and rob you of your dreams.

Jeremy Alessi (Apr 11, 2007 at 17:58 GMT)

Wow man, I'm sorry for all your troubles. Good luck getting back into the groove. I can identify with you a little. The past 4 years have been some of the rockiest of my life as well. Keep the dream alive, but family always comes first. I wish you success in the future!

Britton LaRoche (Apr 16, 2007 at 01:45 GMT)

@Adib, don't quit your day job!!! Unless you get laid off and have no other alternative like I did back in 2003, its a bad idea to take the plunge. The tech market was dead in 2003 especially where I live in Dallas, Texas. We had tech companies and telecom companies that supported the Dallas Economy and both were hit at the same time. I have relatives that worked at Nortel, and Cisco that lost a fortune. I'd have made more money working at Mc Donalds. Otherwise, I'd have kept my day job and would work on it a bit at a time.

Thats what I am doing now. Trust me on this, take my advice, Jeff Tunnell and Jay Moore gave me the same advice. Think small work on it a bit at a time. You could start by selling texture packs. You have all the rights to the texure packs you did for GB, sell them here. Don't take the plunge until you have enough money coming in from sales to cover your expenses.

@Jeremy, If you have a tech Job everyone has had a rocky four years, thats a fact refelected in every tech magazine, stock magazine or business article. Things have started getting better last year and I think we will do well in 2007.

@Corey, Loller, its like the line from Bat Man Begins, corney as it sounds its all to true to me.

"Why do we fall? To learn how to pick ourselves up again."

I think its really that simple. Its almost a guarantee that chance and fate will deal us a rotten hand from time to time. The only thing we can do is control our responses to the bad luck. To go with the poker game analogy, sometimes you just have to fold, over and over again until you get a better hand. Just don't leave the game, and get prepared for both the good and the bad so you know what to do when you get the opportunity. At least thats my belief. I have not succeeded yet.
Edited on Apr 16, 2007 01:47 GMT

Britton LaRoche (Apr 16, 2007 at 01:59 GMT)

@Mark, taking you up on that offer! You can get the files here:

www.ampedlabs.com/files/beaver/beaver_logos.zip
www.ampedlabs.com/files/beaver/GamebeaversCharacterPack1.zip
www.ampedlabs.com/files/beaver/GameBeaversTexturePack1.zip
www.ampedlabs.com/files/beaver/GameBeaversWeaponPack1.zip

The beauty of game beavers is that it is colloborative development, any one that contributes to it owns the rights to all of it, royalty free. That means anyone can take the ball and run with it. Adib and Stefan are licenced members for example. Hosting the site makes you a contributer and after three months you own all the rights, that goes for anyone else who hosts it too.

Sorry guys for dropping out of the picture for so long. Please grab the files, I can't host them on my server for ever, I just don't have the bandwidth. Thats the whole Idea behind GB it belongs to everyone who contributes to it. I'll post links to the licences and to the legal document Thomas Buscaglia wrote protecting the GB assets up here too.
Edited on Apr 16, 2007 02:00 GMT

Britton LaRoche (Apr 16, 2007 at 02:17 GMT)

@Mark, Here is the Heart of GB, its the legal document Thomas Buscaglia put together for us, its what makes GB work.

Image:
www.ampedlabs.com/files/beaver/GameBeaversAgreement.jpg

Document Ziped Up:
www.ampedlabs.com/files/beaver/GameBeaversAgreement.zip

Need to post the list of contributers, shortly. I think we can automate the process with an "I agree" button instead of sending in a fax... its too much work for everyone to mail or fax in a signed a agreement.

Britton LaRoche (Apr 16, 2007 at 03:01 GMT)

Here is the source code modifications to the TGE. We have not touched any of these files since they were made public on the internet in August of 2004.

I have not done anything but announce my determination to return. There is a lot of work to be done. The code was posted when TGE 1.3 was fresh, we need to upgrade it to TGE 1.5. Any takers?

www.ampedlabs.com/files/beaver/code.zip

Most of you have all these files already. Any one made modifications since 2004? Here is the resource I submitted back then with some of the notes on how to patch the TGE with it.

www.garagegames.com/index.php?sec=mg&mod=resource&page=view&qid=6230

Thanks!!

Britton LaRoche (Apr 16, 2007 at 03:10 GMT)

Here is the link for beaver patrol from above. It has a fairly decent (although incomplete) list of all he contributers. Great work guys, grab the files while you can. I plan on resurecting the site, but my plans have failed before.

www.ampedlabs.com/files/beaver/BeaverPatrol.zip

Screen Shots of Beaver Patrol Here:
www.garagegames.com/mg/snapshot/view.php?qid=833

I can't seem to find the code resource link submitted to patch the TGE engine, it was posted here the same time back in 2004. Does anyone have that link?
Edited on Apr 16, 2007 03:18 GMT

Britton LaRoche (Apr 16, 2007 at 03:31 GMT)

@Chip, Can you work with Mark to resurect the GB site? Honestly I intend to come back, but I need to focus on generating revenue for Amped Labs so I can afford to do more with GB. I have found that giving things away for free does not pay the bills.

So honestly, and regretably the GB site is my lowest priority. I will not return to it until Amped Labs is showing a profit on the gaming side. Thats why I'm posting these links. GB needs help, and I wont be able to do it for the forseeable near future.

@Michael, it is most unfortunate to have company in misery. I wish everyone the best. From the heart, I believe we are the future of the United States, and global economy. Independent small shops are going to fuel the next generation global economy. I believe this because the existing companies are so out moded, and in my opinion... evil, that they cannot survive. The large companies are focused on short term gain. The CEO wants to drive up the stock price get a bonus and jump ship, the easiest way to do that is cut costs. This corporate gutting of tallent, employees and assets has been going on since 1987 and any large company that follows this philosophy is doomed to fail. Its not just limited to video games, its wide spread.

Keep your chin up, keep positive focus only on success. Its not brains that makes it, its tenacity. Take a look at Einstein he was no millionaire. Take a look at the longest successful and richest men in the world, most did not graduate college. They were not super human in any way, except one. They ahd a dream and the stuck with it. My point is this gives all of us hope, and it is proof we can all make it. You don't have to be super man or a genious, you just have to stick with it.

Britton LaRoche (Apr 16, 2007 at 03:40 GMT)

@Stefan, You bet you can help. You rock! You are so awesome it blows my mind. I've never seen anyone with such tallent, in art and in programming together... and you are a doctor, on top of it. Yes, you can definitely help. You would be the perfect guy to upgrade the GB code base to TGE 1.5 compliance. Again I wont get around to it for quite some time. So this would be the biggest help to everyone, including me.

@Xavier & Jerimiah, thank you for the encouragement! It helps to know people care, feels good to know that.

CSMP (Aug 10, 2008 at 10:49 GMT)

thank you very much for reuploading, ive been looking for this, ill relink other broken posts

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